Why People Who Put No Effort into Their Outfit Should Expect the Same Energy in Dating
Key takeaways
- First impressions are formed in a tenth of a second
- Putting no effort into an outfit signals one doesn’t care about the impression they leave
- A person who shows up in plain clothing might attract someone who mirrors the same level of effort
- Lack of effort in one direction may be compensated by more effort in another, like communication
- Most people looking for a relationship focus on personality, not appearance
Research by Princeton University shows it takes a tenth of a second to form one’s first impression of a person. First encounters have a powerful effect on our reputation. It takes under 30 seconds to form an opinion about someone, which happens before someone even speaks, according to 69% of surveyed Americans. Among the most effective ways to leave an impression are a nice smile (51%), good manners (43%), arriving on time (29%), making eye contact (35%), being able to carry on a conversation (23%), and dressing appropriately for the occasion (15%).
Lack of effort can be perceived as a lack of interest in the date
How a person presents through their clothing often reflects their self-respect, confidence, and attention to detail. When someone puts little to no effort into their outfit, it can signal to the person meeting them that they don’t care about making a good first impression or even the date itself. Communication is key in this regard; perhaps your date simply didn’t have enough time to plan his outfit. This might be the case if he has many competing commitments: a demanding job, being a single parent, etc. If you’re dating a man with kids, he might not always be dressed to the nines. However, if one party consistently dresses with care and intention while the other shows up in wrinkled or mismatched clothes, the consequential imbalance suggests deviating values or priorities. The person who takes the time to dress well may start feeling awkward or undervalued.
Dating is a two-way street that requires mutual effort. Just as people want engaging conversation, emotional connection, and shared interests, there is also an expectation of effort in physical presentation. A person who shows up in unkempt clothing might attract partners who mirror that same level of effort, and not just in their appearance. You can’t expect to attract a stylishly dressed, confident person when you don’t embody those traits. It’s unfair and unrealistic to expect high standards from a potential partner while neglecting personal presentation.
Dressing well doesn’t necessarily mean buying expensive clothes, but it does mean showing respect for the occasion. A well-thought-out outfit communicates effort and consideration, which contributes to a person’s overall attractiveness. On the other hand, disregard for appearance can suggest a lack of self-awareness or motivation, which can be unappealing to a potential partner.
Final thoughts
Ultimately, putting in effort—whether in fashion, hygiene, or overall presentation—signals readiness for a relationship based on mutual respect and appreciation. Dates are among the settings where people are most eager to leave a good first impression with 52%, second only to a job interview (68%), and ahead of meeting a boyfriend or girlfriend’s parents (38%), 2024 data shows. That said, the best dating platforms utilize advanced algorithms that tend to match genuinely compatible users, and part of that is their attitude toward dating and first impressions.
It becomes apparent early on if a person cares about appearances and making a good impression on other people or if they believe personality is the main factor and nothing else really matters. This conviction is more common than many would believe. A survey of over 1,000 people carried out by a cosmetic surgery site found that around 95% believed personality mattered more than looks in a relationship, while only 4.88% were of the opposite opinion.