Dating online is… well, uncertain. Sometimes it's fun and sometimes it's scary to date online. You talk to someone, and maybe even plan to meet up. But what happens when your casual relationship spills over into social media? You might think you need to be careful when you comment on their TikTok videos, like their posts, or slide into their direct messages.
Even when things aren't serious, there are still rules to follow. The way you talk to each other online can make or break the vibe. A careless like or a comment made with too much eagerness can quickly change the mood from fun to awkward. Also, let's be honest: no one wants to seem too intense too soon. It is important to find a middle ground between being nice and following the rules. Here are some ways to use social media and dating apps without coming off as needy, creepy, or just plain silly.
The Like Button: Friend or Foe?
It may seem innocent to like someone's posts, but when you're just casually dating, it can send mixed signals. A stray like on their six-month-old trip picture? Some people might raise an eyebrow at that. And if you like all of their posts in a row, it's like putting up a neon sign that says, "I spent way too much time stalking your profile."
Do: Like recent posts if you genuinely like what they say. A simple double-tap on their most recent story keeps things light and lets them know you're paying attention without being too pushy.
Don't: Don’t go through their whole feed and spree-like everything—that looks like you're too eager. Also, please don't like old, personal posts like family photos or ex-related content. That’s just weird.
A good way to do things? You shouldn't let your likes say what you wouldn't say in person. If you met on hookup sites, keep it chill. By giving them a lot of attention on social media, you might make it look like you care more than you agreed to be.
Comments: The Fine Line Between Flirty and Cringe
Commenting on someone’s posts feels more personal than a like, so tread carefully. A joke or compliment in the right place can keep the banter going, but too many of them can come off as invasive. You might feel a little overwhelmed if someone you've only been on two dates with started leaving heart emojis under all of your selfies, don't you think?
Do: Keep it short and to the point. A simple "Looking strong!" works if they post a gym picture. A laughing emoji or a quick "This is too true" keeps the energy fun when they share a meme.
Don't: Don't say overly flirty or suggestive things in public; save that for private chats. And never comment on posts involving their friends or family. That's a quick way to make things awkward for everyone.
Do not forget that social media is a public space. Others, including potential dates later, may be able to see how you two interacted, even if it's just for fun now. Don't type something if you wouldn't say it in front of a group of strangers.
DMs: The Unofficial Second Dating App
Let’s say you have been talking on this dating app, and have even gone on a date or two. Speaking of dates, keep your appearance attractive because first impressions are often very powerful. Going into their direct messages may seem like the natural next step, but the right time and tone are important. If you're already talking on a dating app, moving the chat to Facebook or Snapchat can make it feel more personal. But it can also backfire if you’re too pushy.
Do: Send them a casual message about something they shared, like a funny meme you think they'd like or a question about a trip they recently took. It makes it easy for them to respond without feeling pressured.
Don’t: Don’t blow up their DMs if they’re not responding. And if you met on hookup sites, avoid sending late-night "You up?" texts unless that’s the established dynamic. Nothing kills a casual vibe faster than seeming desperate.
If they don't engage much with you on social media, that's a sign. So take the hint. It's fine if some people don't want to mix casual dating with their online presence. Respect their boundaries and continue the talk where it left off if that's what they prefer.
Online vs. Dating App Behavior: Know the Difference
No matter if you’re dating online or off, following dating etiquettes is very important. You shouldn't act the same way on dating apps and social media. You should flirt and answer quickly on dating apps; that's the whole point of them. But social media is different. It’s their personal space, not a dating platform, so the rules change.
On Dating Apps: On dating apps, people expect to flirt, respond quickly, and make plans. You can be a little more direct now that the context is clear.
On Social Media: Turn it down a notch on social media. Do not think that you can act like you're in a relationship unless you're officially in a relationship.
You might send confused signals if you still message people on hookup sites but also comment with heart-eye emojis under their selfies. Don't change the vibe. Keep the energy consistent. Don't act like a boyfriend or girlfriend online if you're keeping things casual on the app.
Final Thoughts
Online or off, casual dating doesn't mean ignoring social cues. A small amount of knowledge can help keep things smooth and respectful. Your online behavior should fit the vibe you've set, whether you met in person, on hookup sites, or on a dating app.
Don't get too worked up about every exchange, and remember that you don't always need to like, comment, or DM someone just because you can. If you keep things light and fun, you'll avoid the classic pitfalls of modern dating etiquette. You should handle their social media the same way you would want someone to handle yours: with just the right mix of interest and space.